There are many things that I think have contributed to who I am today. Many people and events have influenced me and continue to change and shape who I will become. It is almost impossible to separate the individual and his or her actions and character from their environment. There are many facets of life that I could focus on but one specific part of life in particular came to mind. That is how the relationships that you grow up with and encounter throughout your life effect your future personal relationships
When I was in fourth grade, my parents got divorced. I didn't think much of it because I was an angst ridden preteen only occupying thoughts of myself, and had seen my parents as separate entities for so long that I accepted it. In fact, until quite recently I didn't think that their separation has effected me at all. Their relationship was not a particularly healthy one, and I think I really knew that all along.
After the split, I lived at my dad's house half the time and my mom's half the time. This enabled me to see how they were both effected by the split. My father never dated again and turned into somewhat of a hermit, while my mother dated a couple men and eventually got remarried. So many things about my parents and their lives changed after their separation that it was hard to envision what it had been like beforehand. Seeing this change in my parents was my first indication of how much people are transformed based on their relationships with others.
After seeing the trans-formative nature of relationships, my own relationships changed quite a bit. Throughout middle school and high school I did not keep a steady group of friends and moved through best friends quickly. Even this year i hang out with completely different people than I ever had before. Witnessing my parents' relationship crumble changed everything about how i viewed people and the way they interact, and changed my outlook on the permanence of interpersonal relationships.
I know how you feel as far dealing with parents that are divorced. Mine split when I was in pre school, which I know is a little different since I dont really remember much of what it was like before that but still have to deal with the separation. My mom also saw a couple guys until getting remarried and my dad saw one girl but is now single and living alone. I agree that people are transformed based on their relationships... sometimes for the good sometimes not.
ReplyDeleteI also know how you feel as my parents are divorced too. It is a completely different situation when you are splitting your childhood time between your mothers house and your fathers house. So much of today's culture is centered around growing up with a mom and a dad in a household, together. This is part of the reason why gay couples are frowned upon for wanting to have children. Two dads or two moms can't raise children. In this instance you have two parents separately raising a child. Culture has a funny way of working out for us.
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