Battle of the Sexes

http://youtu.be/AWpsOqh8q0M

This is the music video for "If I Were a Boy" by Beyonce. It may seem a little cliche, but this song and music video display gender roles in our society very nicely. The lyrics say "If I were a boy..." and lists several things that men are permitted to do that a woman is not. The twist on the video is it places Beyonce as the "boy" and her boyfriend in the video as the "girl" in the relationship, so it's easier to see how Beyonce's actions (imitating the boy) would hurt anyone, not just an overly-sensitive girl. This forces the viewer to think about the feelings of both people in the relationship and a mutual understanding is, hopefully, reached that the actions are inappropriate.

The lyrics of the song say a woman is faithful, normally the more vulnerable one that gets hurt, is taken for granted. The video and body language implies that she is expected to turn away all other potential suitors immediately and we also see that she is the one that makes breakfast and remains at home.
On the other hand, the male turns off his phone, ignoring his girlfriend, he puts himself first, he hangs out with who he wants to, drinks beer, and chases girls. What is shown is the man is the one that goes to work and flirts with other girls and doesn't care or feel any kind of guilt. (Beyonce, a woman, is actually the one acting this way the first time around, just to show how much of a jerk a girl would look like if she behaved that way.) These gender roles can be applied more generally and maintain accuracy for our culture as a whole. Being a heterosexual female myself, I can clearly identify with the subject position of the female gender role and agree with many of the lyrics of this song, having experienced them. At the same time, even if I agree that this is stereotypically how men act, I am not a male and I know they have their own side to the story as well.

Very broadly, in our culture, females are typically the ones that are supposed to be pure, stand by their man, and cater to him. Males are supposed to be the bread winners, aren't supposed to be soft, work on their own schedule, and are allowed to show their physical attraction to women more openly. For both roles, this is not always the exact way things happen at all. Many times women cheat, care only about themselves, and have absolutely no cooking skills. The same applies to men; some men are stay-at-home dads, are openly caring, don't drink alcohol at all, and treat their significant-other right.

Even if some factors of these roles for each side may hold true in many scenarios, much of the time pressure from society and those around us to fit into a certain role is the actual cause for the behavior. A woman could get too clingy if she's been talking to her mother for too long and is urged to have children and guys, at times, might feel as if they should have a certain 'macho, I-don't-care' attitude toward women around their friends. It may not be what that person believes is acceptable deep down or who they are as a person at all, but society compels them to act a certain way.

The point is, that although we have moments where we think "all girls" or "all guys" behave in a certain unfavorable way and that they are simply "beyond reason", in reality, we just need to take a step back and think about the circumstances. We're all human and we're not always going to be happy with each other. This is true between people of the same genders too. (Cat fights, bro brawls). Sometimes we do things just to piss the other person off or just to show that we can win. Hopefully, we eventually get over it and act like civil human beings. But this is many times way past the point of hurt feelings or much worse, deeming it a real "stumbling block". To overcome our differences we just need to have a clear understanding of the other person's side of the story and respect each other as people with feelings and individual importance, all gender roles aside.

Children = Hybrid Corn

Selecting a topic for this post was not the easiest thing to do. As I re-read through the list of suggestions, I saw one that was intriguing; Embryos. Not from the poster point of view, but from a different one. In the dairy industry, Embryos and Embryo Transfers (ET's) are an extremely common practice. My dad works for a dairy genetics company, and part of his job is to consult with farmers and help them decide if they would like to invest in ET's for their nice cattle.   And right there is the thing- NICE cattle. Usually farmers do not to ET work with animals that do not seem "worth while." Here lies my position on the embryo debate. For me its a normal part of life, and honestly I don't have a problem with using it for humans. From my perspective ET work is a way to preserve good families.  Its a positive thing for the community I am involved in. 

In the the medical world, embryos can be used for much more than multiple babies with the same genes. Embryos can be used to create the "perfect" child. Whether that be a sister that could cure cancer with a perfect bone marrow match or the most beautiful baby.  The possibilities are endless when people begin to play  with the conception process.  And humans have taken these processes to the next level. While most farmers are pro- embryo work for their animals, they are often anti-embryo work for humans.

 In a broad sense, the very conservative nature of the community I grew up in can contradict its self quite easily. They choose to separate their animals and the people they know, but how different are we? Technically we are all mammals, and from a Darwin-like point of view, we all evolved in similar ways. If someone believes that it is OK to give their cattle the upper-hand before they are even born, why should children not have the same benefit? If this kind of technology can help prevent birth defects why should we not support it?  It's difficult to say where to draw the line. Christian folks will say that children should be conceived naturally, without special selection.  More scientific people will believe that new technologies will help our upcoming youth be healthier and live longer, like hybrid corn or beans.

The Pill

The birth control pill is a debated topic all around the world. Many people agree with the ideas of it while others feel that it is a type of abortion. People feel that is changes a woman’s body and that it is not appropriate in most situations. If people choose to have sex before they are ready to support a child and a family then I feel they should have the right to prevent it. They are not harming anyone, but taking the initiative to stop something that could changes their lives. By using birth control they are being smart and using a type of protection so they will not have to deal with a situation they were not prepared for.

In the Catholic Church some feel that is a horrible sin to use birth control. They feel it is unnecessary to use it because people should not be having premarital sex. It is not only stopping God’s plan and changing the woman’s body, but in some cases promoting premarital sex. The Catholic Church is against premarital sex and with the option of birth control there is a higher chance of experiencing sex before marriage.

And then you look at the use of the pill from the health aspects. Many people don’t believe in using the pill because of the medical side effects that come from the use of the pill. People feel that the benefits to using the pill outweigh the side effects. It changes the body chemistry and, most importantly, can cause blood clots if the pill is used over the recommended amount of time.

The first thing I think about when talking about birth control is the Duggers. The television show on TLC that follows the family of 19 kids and counting. They do not believe in any type of birth control and leave it up to God if they will have another child. Yes, big families are nice but when you look at the world and the over population, one family should not be the same size as an elementary class. There are so many question asked about the amount of kids they have: How do they afford it, how can they be equal, and why do you need so many kids when there are millions of people in the world. The other thing about the Duggers is that even after their last child almost died because the mom is getting to old to have children, and yet she is pregnant again.

I personally believe that the use of birth control is a good thing. I don’t think of it as abortion, because it doesn’t kill anything it just stops the release of eggs. I have four adopted cousins that were all from unexpected pregnancies. If my aunt and uncle did not adopt them no one knows where they would be today. Birth control helps people take control of when they want to have children. It gives them the option of when they think is the best time to have children. Especially seeing how many teen pregnancies have been occurring in the last year. In my graduating class of 300 we had 8 girls give birth before graduation. These girls were not able to finish high school which leads to the children’s lives being a lot tougher and the parents struggling to support the family.

It's All About FACEBOOK... for now

From Xanga, Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter… what do these social networks have in common? They appeared one after another. One social network became more popular than another. These social networks appear to improve in technological software capabilities where we can update information every second, chat, take web pictures, have a profile song to blend with our page, and surf the internet all at the same time. Each social network allows us to create a page for ourselves in which we personalize information and share what we want others to know about us only. Facebook is one of the biggest social network of today’s generation. From fan pages, profile pages, accepting friends, updating profile, uploading pictures, joining user groups and sharing what you have in mind. It’s the fact that Facebook grows from year to year since its launched in February 2004. We express and update people about our lives or how we feel like at the moment. We can post up new pictures and catch up on the latest gossip, news, drama, and updates on people’s lives and the world in some senses. Because FACEBOOK happens to be the most popular social network right now, I decided to blog about it and its problems with the daily lives of people since everyone seems to have a Facebook and everyone has somewhat been involved or have perceived misinterpreted information. Facebook is useful to a certain extent if you choose to have one to keep in touch with family, friends, and build relationships. However the privacy we would want Facebook to provide for us is problematic because we are not in control of what other people share about us.

Everyone who has seen “The Social Network” knows how Facebook was created, who the mastermind behind creating Facebook was, and what this social network has done to the world. Facebook is good and yet it is bad in its own ways. The issue with Facebook is that information about you or things you and others choose to write or post about can be misinterpreted by people. Men and women use it to socialize, hook up, and surf for new things and new people. Although an individual has control on what they want to post, show, and say about themselves on their page, what other people post and write (about them) is uncontrollable. We can write and talk smack anonymously about people and express to the world how bad certain people are. Relationships have ended and have been blasted due to Facebook posts, pictures, and lack of privacy. People have lost their jobs due to coworkers blasting them on posts and photos as well. Privacy may be somewhat secure but NOT as secure as we would want it to be.
Although Facebook is a great way to keep in touch and build relationships, Facebook has become a distraction and downer to everyday users. Facebook information about you or things you and others choose to write or post about can be misinterpreted by people. The problem for this is that people assume too much on things they know very little of. People nowadays have this perception where instead of asking or confirming, they just assume and believe right on. Posting embarrassing, humiliating, denigrating and hurtful content in both text, photos and videos make others assume and take things the wrong way. A photo or caption paints a thousand pictures and more when it comes to Facebook. Although we talk trash about someone, the viewer’s believe they know who you are referring to. If you block others or do not reply to others, a growing anxiety generates feelings that there must be a reason why you do not respond to them. In order to solve this issue… My advice is that people should not pass judgment of others using Facebook as a source. Facebook should not be made as a form of main contact and people should not BELIEVE EVERYTHING they see and read on Facebook. The false sense of privacy with the feeling of anonymity and lack of social responsibility that often develops from using text-centered telecommunications is problematic and people should be aware of it. We need to teach them that NOTHING IS PRIVATE online, especially their social networks. Facebook is just a social network that displays a little entertainment for people.

The Fear Behind the Hatred

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg

A teenage boy name Jonah Mowry posted the above YouTube video, in which he uses note cards to share the heartbreaking story of what a lifetime of being bullied has done to him. Jonah Mowry has endured unbearable amounts of pain and suffering at the hands of bullies, yet he is still alive today because he has been brave enough and strong enough to remember that life is always worth living. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about thousands of other bullied teens for whom suicide was the answer.

The issue revolving around gay teens being bullied has become a real ‘stumbling block’ for today’s society. People are SO blatantly unaware of how their words and actions can affect other people.  A student a Rutgers University jumped off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate allegedly posted a video on the Internet of him having sex with another man. Today’s culture, although slightly better than the past, has still allowed for homosexual teens, as well as adults, to be singled out in society. As a result, suicide, pain and suffering exist. Being Gay is NOT a choice—most people do not understand this.

If you look up “homophobia” in the dictionary, it will probably tell you it is the fear of homosexuals. While many would take issue with that definition, it is nevertheless true that in many ways, it really is the fear of homosexuality or at least homosexuals. Homophobia is widespread in America, far more widespread than most heterosexuals realize. Homophobia is having drastic effects on today’s cultural society. In 1994, a U.S. Senate candidate was seen with supports holding signs that read, “Homophobia Doesn’t Kill.” By publically announcing this belief, they were also announcing their ignorance to the world because homophobia DOES kill.

Homosexuality is seen as unnatural when, in fact, homosexual behavior has been noted in every primate species, which happens to be mans closest living ‘relative.’ It seems clear that one reason gay marriage is opposed is because it threatens the heterosexual institution of marriage. Yeah. Just how that would happen can’t be explained. This reason is an emotional reaction rather than a logical argument. We see this to often in society, where people make decisions with their heart rather than their head. This is obvious through the two examples above. The outright fear of homosexuality ‘skews’ how our culture deals with sex and sexuality. This, although wrong, is a fact about today’s society.

Online Dating

In the long list of suggestions of issues to look at included in this posting assignment, the "E-Harmony (discursive/cyber technology)" example stood out to me. I decided to expand it to be just online dating sites in general. For starters, I have never even been on an online dating site; the random ad that I included above I found by searching Google Images. I am a heterosexual woman that has been with my current boyfriend for a year. We met at work, but since I have been at school this year in Minnesota with him still at home in Illinois, we have had to maintain a distance relationship during the times that I am at college. These elements help formulate my subject position.

On the other end of the spectrum is one of my friends. He is a homosexual man that has been with his current boyfriend for about five months. They met online and have a very extreme long distance relationship: his boyfriend is from Brazil and they still have not met in person yet. His boyfriend is going to be coming here in the spring so they can finally meet. These components aid in creating his differing subject position.

One of our obvious differences is our sexual orientation, but I am instead going to focus on how we met our significant others. We are very good friends and often talk about how difficult it can be to maintain a distance relationship, tending to overlook the significant differences between our situations. We both need to rely on technologies such as Skype, Facebook, phone calls, and texting to keep our relationships going strong when we are not able to be together. Although how my friend met his boyfriend is the complete opposite of what tends to be considered "the traditional way," I still respect his relationship. This may not be the way that I prefer to meet people, but it is working out for him so far and I am happy for him. Each boyfriend that I have had I have either met at work or at school, in person. In my experience, this is "normal," a standard that I am aware does not truly exist. I unfortunately sometimes unintentionally fall into the hegemony associated with this issue. I never add people as "friends" on Facebook that I do not know; in the same way, I do not use online dating sites to meet people.

Being friends with this guy has altered how I construct my view of people that use online dating websites. He was not on a dating site when he met his boyfriend, but was instead just having a casual conversation. Because they met online, I still loosely link these ways of meeting. Before, I often heard stereotypes of people that use online dating sites being "old and desperate people" or "people that are just looking for hookups." These may seem harsh, but this is what culture has subjected many people to. I believe these negative images do not accurately represent the majority of these people, like usual, and meeting this friend and slowly learning more about his relationship has helped me better understand this. I just found out that the fact that they have never met a few days ago, so I believe this delay of information helped me avoid forming judgments and falling into a bias.

My view has not completely changed to believing that online dating is the best way to go, but I also do not reject it. I feel that the best route is to do your best to meet someone and wait for things to fall into place instead of forcing them. This has worked out so well for me, and I hope that it does for others too.

Posting Assignment #8 (due Sunday 12/4, 11:59 P.M.; comment by 11:59 Monday, 12/5) Building a theory-bridge of charity—to reach people who believe 'nonsense'

 [long post; read it carefully]

When we did our 'belief / science' spectrum in class we could all look out over our group and see—graphically—how we differed in the ways we see science, facts, rationality, spirituality, commitment to views of the world and the universe, emotion, proof—everything.  It was a moment of affirmation for many of us, because we were able to treat our many differences with complete respect.

It's not always that way.  In 'Beyond…reason,' Robin and Carl try to explain how we might understand the visceral, powerful, passionate and often ugly ways we 'construct' those whose views radically contradict ours.  They show how words (rhetoric) work to construct worlds that may never be brought into alignment.  And why it matters so much.  And why we all probably do it.

So maybe, over in the other corner from where we sat on Tuesday, are people who really don't live in the same worlds we do—though we pass on the street and sit beside each other in Al's all the time.  Maybe.

In this late blog post, we can take this further by imagining a very specific 'subject position' different from our own, identifying a very specific claim about the world on which we would probably differ, and offering that person a way to see how the differences are constructed.  And why it matters so much. 

NOT a rant.  NOT Hannity or Jon Stewart.  No sneering, eye-rolling, snarky, funny put-downs.  No preaching.  No testifying. No self-serving superiority.  No unsupported claims. No condescension—as much fun as any of that can be.

Reasoned, careful, theoretically-anchored, self-aware and charitable. 

We may never change a mind.  But we may be able to get clear how we differ.  Step one across the bridge.

1.  Identify a subject position.  The model here is 'Beyond…reason,'  but for you and your world.  Think about how Robin lays out his hard-won investment in science, ornithology, geology, mountaineering, careful driving, big words, art, representation—and how his it contrasts with the world of guys who like the grand and grandiloquent, and who read the Whitney's catalog and build trucks as art.  Detailed.  Specific.  Maybe it's your best friend or your aunt.  Maybe it's your former Pastor or Hebrew School teacher.  Maybe it's your biology teacher.

2.  Identify an issue with a specific claim in it. The MCCL billboard above has many.  One is actual science: 'embryos are just tiny babies.'  One involves gender roles and pairings; a dude with his cap on backwards, and a babe with a cute hat with a butterfly.  Science.  Sex and sexuality, of course, if you can—but really anything that falls under our big umbrella of 'Science and Culture.'   Use the claims in Andrea Tone's history of 'the pill' if you like; things like Loretta Lynn singing sexual freedom and Bad Men.  Medicalization of sexuality.  Side effects.  Birth control as a 'woman's issue' (variously). The total alteration of sex, love, marriage, families that comes about when various 'reproductive technologies' become available.  'Rights' (privacy, life).  'Hook-ups' or 'friends with benefits' (discursive technologies).  Abstinence rings, clubs or balls (discursive technologies).  Arranged marriages (discursive technologies). Celibate priesthoods  (discursive technologies).  E-Harmony  (discursive / cyber technology).  Though we're not there yet, Jill Lepore's history of Planned Parenthood politics, the Pope, and the MCCL website (next week) are full of material.  So is your life.  Get it small and specific; good issue = good blogpost.

3.  Build a bridge. Writing in any form / format that works for you, explain how and why this issue is a total stumbling block, and what needs to be done to understand the inherent conflicts.  You're explaining and showing.  You're using our work (all of it) to make the case.  Your goal is understanding—going both ways.