Polygamy

Polygamy is a marriage which includes more than two partners. When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny. So how I see it, polygamy is taking the subject position of saying it is acceptable to have more than one wife/husband versus the typical monogamous relationship society is accustomed to. I am a heterosexual female that believes in monogamous relationships. I was raised by my loving parents who have been married over 26 years and I believe they set a great example for me for what I want when I find that special person. When I get married (or if I ever), I would want a husband that is married to me, not me and someone(s) else. I believe I am incapable of sharing the man I love with someone else.

I bring the subject of polygamy because it is a topic I can’t quite grasp and fully understand although I try very hard to take myself out of my shoes and look at it from a fresh point of view. I would consider myself pretty open minded but polygamy is something I just cannot understand. Maybe ‘understand’ isn’t a good word for what I am trying to say but it’s an idea that I find incomprehensible to me. Maybe it’s because I’m selfish and cannot share or maybe it’s due to insecurity or because I was born in a time where monogamy is the norm in society, I just don’t understand how one could be accept sharing their spouse. I pass no judgment on those who practice polygamy but I know myself and I would never be involved with a male who is a practicing polygamist.

What made me think of this topic to blog about were the ads about the “I’m a Mormon” ad campaign. If you look at this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVfMRmxyaJk you’ll see it’s a news broadcast spotlight about the “I’m a Mormon” ad campaign. The video talks about how the campaign is taking a stance that Mormons are normal and just like everyday people. It aims to intrigue people who are unfamiliar or only know of stereotypes about Mormons to think twice about what the Mormon religion is all about. I’ll admit when I was younger and more naive, when i heard the word Mormon, I associated it with men with several wives and was grossed out. After seeing several of the ads on television, it irked my interest in learning more about the Mormon religion and to see if those stereotypes still held true. I also wanted researched to learn more about the religion so I didn’t just assume things and to become more knowledgeable about differing views/religions.

I urge others to be become more educated on things we do not understand and do actual research rather than hearing from 3^rd party sources or other unreliable sources. My previous boyfriend was beginning to accept the Islam faith and asked me to research the religion and to see whether it was something that interested me. When I was doing research on Islam, I came across information that said Islam allowed men to have up to 4 wives up at one time. When I read that I first thought how could a man just decide to find 4 women and marry them without being able to support them? I also thought, isn’t this unfair for women? These questions led me to reading the Koran (translated in English version) a little to get an understanding why they allowed polygamy. Don’t quote me on what I understood since I am no scholar or expert on the Koran but what I understood after reading more into polygamy in the Islam religion was that they allowed men to only marry the women if they were able to treat equally and support them. After doing more research on the topic, I came to the conclusion that although at the surface the idea of allowing men to marry up to 4 women seems unjust and unfair for women, it is actually the opposite. Each of the wives has to have their own property, assets, and dowry, which gives the women financial stability and gives them freedom of reliance on their husbands. Not to say women cannot be their own breadwinners but the Koran was written a long time ago so the underlying principal and intention was to help women, not use them.

I apologize for the random topics I jumped around to but overall I once again want to reiterate that we shouldn’t judge something before we try and get an understanding of it first. It doesn’t mean we have to accept what others believe but to at least try to find some common ground to get an idea of why they believe a certain way. Obviously there are no guarantees that we can ever understand the differences, such as how I cannot truly understand polygamy, but I think if we try it means something.