Saving yourself for prince charming...

Being raised Catholic I was always taught that you should save yourself for the right person. That person being the one you wed and that on your wedding night you would be able to give yourself fully to your husband/wife. Now as a child I didn't quite know what "saving yourself" meant. But I certainly didn't question, it was just left to sit in the back of my mind. As a Catholic I sort of knew that it wasn't something that I was supposed to question, I was just supposed to accept it. My parents never really talked about it, and if the topic ever did come up, they found away to avoid it. Eventually middle school came along and I had my first sex ed class, to which I shoved aside because I thought I wouldn't need to deal with this for quite some time, after all marriage is so far away! But then I started noticing changes in my friends, that they no longer shared the same beliefs as I. Furthermore I started noticing that the media was really really REALLY suggestive, and the people I saw on T.V., in the movies, and in magazines definitely did NOT share my beliefs, and it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought "why does every have such a lack of respect towards themselves?", and I even began to think that I was better than all those other people and that they were all going hell because I thought that's just what happens to people that go against God, and truth be told, I was really scared to question that. But then I took a step back and realized that that was a horrible way to think. Why, if I was Christian, would God want me to hate others? I started to question my values and compare them to my friends' and I settled down a lot. I mean, I wasn't about to give up on my beliefs, but no longer did I view the people that didn't share my beliefs in a negative light. As I got even older I really started to look into what my values were and what they meant to me vs what they meant by my parents and my church's standards. Come junior year in high school, I had done a lot of "soul searching" and talked to a lot of people about their views and had some really good discussions about what values really meant and how they should be defined. At this point I just started get rational, I did a research paper on sexual education in schools and the controversy behind the comprehensive method and the abstinence method. I used my knowledge from the research I had done, along with everything else I had discovered about myself, to formulate an opinion of my own. Now I promise I'm getting to the point,basically I realized after all of this, that there was a major problem with leaving things to question, or the abstinence method (what the church and my school taught).

The main problem with the abstinence method is that it just defines one method of contraception and it really doesn't address the underlying dangers of sex. It just says, in order to stay safe and maintain your values, don't have sex. Plain and simple. But I think for a lot of people one option is never good enough, we as humans like choice. And some people will choose not to abstain from sex. So what happens then? What happens if their parents never addressed it and their school never addressed it? Where can they turn to for reliable answers? It puts numerous questions in their minds and can really make this, already tough, time even more difficult. Kids are unaware of a lot of the dangers and a lot of ways to prevent those dangers. Where as just being straightforward about sex (the comprehensive method) answers questions and concerns and puts a lot of minds at ease when it comes to this controversial topic. If you're more informed you're more likely to make informed decisions. In fact in study, using the abstinence method has no positive affect on delaying sexual interaction. There was no difference in initiation of sex, age at initiation of sex, abstinence in the previous 12 months, number of sexual partners, or condom use during sex, than with the comprehensive method. The comprehensive method is informs, which is increasingly important with the HIV virus and other deadly STD's.

The abstinence method has a lot of proponents, mainly parents. Abstinence programs emphasize abstinence until marriage. Some allow objective discussion of the effectiveness of condoms and contraceptives without encouraging their use, others, have very strongly opposed condoms and contraceptives and exaggerated their lack of effectiveness. Still others do not even mention condoms or contraception. Abstinence education argues that the comprehensive method encourages premarital sex and activity. The abstinence only education also emphasizes that this method teaches kids about morals and the emotional toll a sexual relationship can have on you if you're not in a committed relationship (marriage).

Speaking from personal struggle, there is a major issue when it comes to the topic of sex. It's viewed as an embarrassing topic and a lot of people feel ashamed about it. Which should not be the case at all. One thing I have come to realize is that sex should be something special between two people, you shouldn't have to feel ashamed about it and you have every right to question it. It's part of being human. I think it's a major part of growing up and I hate to think that it's viewed in such a negative light. I think it's an issue that should be brought to a lot of people's attention especially with the increase of teen pregnancy and STD's. There's a lot that people are unaware of and I think becoming aware is the first step to figuring out what your values are. They should be defined by you.