Online Dating

In the long list of suggestions of issues to look at included in this posting assignment, the "E-Harmony (discursive/cyber technology)" example stood out to me. I decided to expand it to be just online dating sites in general. For starters, I have never even been on an online dating site; the random ad that I included above I found by searching Google Images. I am a heterosexual woman that has been with my current boyfriend for a year. We met at work, but since I have been at school this year in Minnesota with him still at home in Illinois, we have had to maintain a distance relationship during the times that I am at college. These elements help formulate my subject position.

On the other end of the spectrum is one of my friends. He is a homosexual man that has been with his current boyfriend for about five months. They met online and have a very extreme long distance relationship: his boyfriend is from Brazil and they still have not met in person yet. His boyfriend is going to be coming here in the spring so they can finally meet. These components aid in creating his differing subject position.

One of our obvious differences is our sexual orientation, but I am instead going to focus on how we met our significant others. We are very good friends and often talk about how difficult it can be to maintain a distance relationship, tending to overlook the significant differences between our situations. We both need to rely on technologies such as Skype, Facebook, phone calls, and texting to keep our relationships going strong when we are not able to be together. Although how my friend met his boyfriend is the complete opposite of what tends to be considered "the traditional way," I still respect his relationship. This may not be the way that I prefer to meet people, but it is working out for him so far and I am happy for him. Each boyfriend that I have had I have either met at work or at school, in person. In my experience, this is "normal," a standard that I am aware does not truly exist. I unfortunately sometimes unintentionally fall into the hegemony associated with this issue. I never add people as "friends" on Facebook that I do not know; in the same way, I do not use online dating sites to meet people.

Being friends with this guy has altered how I construct my view of people that use online dating websites. He was not on a dating site when he met his boyfriend, but was instead just having a casual conversation. Because they met online, I still loosely link these ways of meeting. Before, I often heard stereotypes of people that use online dating sites being "old and desperate people" or "people that are just looking for hookups." These may seem harsh, but this is what culture has subjected many people to. I believe these negative images do not accurately represent the majority of these people, like usual, and meeting this friend and slowly learning more about his relationship has helped me better understand this. I just found out that the fact that they have never met a few days ago, so I believe this delay of information helped me avoid forming judgments and falling into a bias.

My view has not completely changed to believing that online dating is the best way to go, but I also do not reject it. I feel that the best route is to do your best to meet someone and wait for things to fall into place instead of forcing them. This has worked out so well for me, and I hope that it does for others too.